So Cold
by Dreamerrrxo
Summary: So Cold/Whiskey Lullaby "Oh,you can hear me cry, see my dreams all die, from where you're standing, on your own. It's so quiet here, and I feel so cold, this house no longer, feels like home" Those lyrics rang through her ears like police sirens. It had been one year since he left and she still felt so empty inside. That was her best friend.


So Cold/Whiskey Lullaby

_"Oh,you can hear me cry, see my dreams all die, from where you're standing, on your own. It's so quiet here, and I feel so cold, this house no longer, feels like home"  
_Those lyrics rang through her ears like police sirens. It had been one year since he left and she still felt so empty inside. That was her best friend. _ "Oh, when you told me you'd leave, I felt like I couldn't breathe, my aching body fell to the floor, then I called you at home, you said that you weren't alone, I should've known better, now it hurts much more." _ He flat up and left her without saying goodbye. _"You caused my heart to bleed and, you still owe me a reason, I can't figure out why... Why I'm alone and freezing  
while you're in the bed that she's in" _"It hurts so much" she thought to herself as she drove down the streets of New York. A tear rolled down her cheek. He was her everything. She missed him. She missed his scent, his smile, and his icy blue eyes. She missed loved him.

She parked her car and walked up to her apartment.

"Miss Benson?" the lobby clerk said

Olivia turned around "Yes?"

"A letter came for you today." He said handing her the note.

Olivia took the letter "Who's it from?"

The lobby attendant shrugged "He said you'd know once you opened it."

Olivia nodded and walked up to her apartment.

Once inside Olivia opened the letter. It was from Elliot. A tear rolled down her cheek as she read it:

_Liv,_

_If you have this letter that means I'm gone. I went back into the Marines. I wrote this before going because I needed you to know a few things. Olivia first off I'm so so sorry for leaving you. It was a mistake and I feel horrible for doing it. Liv you mean more to me than you'll ever possibly imagine and I love you. I divorced Kathy and planned on coming back to you. But I got a letter from the Marines a few weeks ago and they wanted me back. I should have told you Liv and I regret not telling you now because now I'll never have the chance to tell you. Liv I wrote this letter to you because I knew I might not come back and I guess I was right because if you're reading this I was killed. I love you Liv and I'm watching over you. I'll always be there. Take my dog tags and wear them around your neck and you'll always have me._

_I love you forever and always,_

_Elliot_

Olivia's heart dropped. Violent sobs shook her body as she took out the dog tags and put them around her neck. She sat in the silence and cried as she held the letter on her heart as she collapsed onto the floor.

Once she got the strength, she got up and called Cragen knowing he had no idea.

"Captain Don Cragen" he said answering his phone

"Cap.." Olivia said still sobbing a little

"Liv? Are you okay? What's wrong?" Cragen said worrying big time about Olivia. He knew she never ever cried and he could tell by the tone of her voice she had been crying and was fighting tears back.  
"No I'm not. He's gone. He died" Olivia said breaking down into tears.

Cragen immediately knew she was talking about Elliot. "Liv I'm so sorry" His body became numb as he took in the news.

"I need to take a few days." She said calming down a little.

"Take as much time as you need. We'll all come by later and comfort you."

Olivia nodded as she hung the phone up. She took a bottle of liquor and the letter and sat down on the couch. And cried some more.

**Back in the precinct **

Cragen walked out looking pale as a ghost and looked at his squad. Casey, Munch, Fin, Alex, Amaro, and Rollins were all there. Fin could immediately tell something was wrong.  
"Cap are you alright?" Fin said concerned.

Cragen shook his head no. "I have some bad news. It's about Elliot."

Everyone stared at him. Casey, Alex, Munch and Fin looked at him. Their hearts dropped and their thoughts turned to Olivia.

"Olivia just informed me Elliot went back into the Marines. He wrote her a letter and he was killed" Cragen said as his voice broke.

For a moment everyone sat in silence. They couldn't believe he was really truly gone.

Casey and Alex finally broke down. They were comforted by Fin and Munch who were standing right there trying to stay strong for the sake of the girls.

"God Olivia we need to go over there and make sure she is okay." Casey said knowing Olivia was probably crying her eyes out. She and Alex knew how much they loved each other.

Everyone nodded and drove to Olivia's.

Casey pulled out the spare key when they got to Olivia's apartment. When they got there they saw an empty bottle of liquor.

"Oh God Liv what the hell have you done?" Casey said running towards the couch.

Everyone followed her. They saw Olivia face down in the pillow holding a picture of her and Elliot of some party with "Whiskey Lullaby" playing in the background.

Casey and Alex cried knowing what Olivia had done. Fin and Munch couldn't believe she did this. Cragen stood there not knowing what to do.

"Is she…?" Cragen said not looking at Olivia.

Fin checked for a pulse. He was amazed there was one.  
"Yes she has a very weak pulse Cap but she isn't likely to make it."

"They're finally together" Casey said sobbing

Everyone agreed as they looked at Olivia

_"They laid her next to him beneath the willows, while the angels sang a whiskey lullaby la la la la la" _


End file.
